Four years is not a very long time. It could be a heartbeat but we never knew it. Because we always assume that it was four years. But, even a heartbeat could change a person, wind could change direction, the whole world can shattered, in a heartbeat. And I know it changes me. I am not surprised if I became worse, because that is just how things were. All the people in the world learn more about the bad than the good. And each day that we live, we are never better, we can only prevent ourselves from becoming worse, as much as we can. I did not have regrets on it. I seldom do. I never regret about the past. Only the future, for I couldn't make it better. I walked the thread of life only looking up, forward. I didn't look back. Because I am afraid I will turned into a pillar of salt. But, instead, in exchange, I lose everything. I am not a pillar of salt but, I am nothing. And, there is also nothing that I could do, but looking up just like what I always do. And continue threading the thread of life.
This maybe a hopeless hope but, suddenly I am wishing that a heartbeat could last four years long. And I hope that we can be better instead of getting worse. I hope that instead of threading the line I could fly. I hope that I was given more chance. More than the more because I always do it wrong and wrong again. But, I don't want to give up. I don't want to give up. I don't. I know that it is time to move on. And maybe from now I will start to look back. I want to gain everything back. I want to be free.